Blogger's Dilemma

I always think that I can write.

But I am neither a great nor a good writer. I just know that I can at least write.

Back in college, my professor congratulated me in one of my essays before.

But why is it that I can't and really don't find my writings in this journal interesting to read?

Was it because I am fond of blog hopping and jealous enough that they have followers who give comments and participate in the blogger's life? Was that what I really wanted?

Sometimes, I am thinking of deleting this site. “Why bother, nobody is reading it anyway”, I quip. Why? Am I sure that I want others to read what I wrote? This is supposed to be a diary. Then, why do I have to let everyone else to read it? But that's the fun side, am I right?

More often, I come across with blogsites with numerous followers. Sometimes I wonder, do they really have that kind of life? Was it really that adventurous or dramatic? Or do they just fake it? Really, I know that, how you present what you write is one key, right?

Then, do I consider myself a blogger? Well, I'm still new having just started one last November, 2004. But I blog so I think I am.

But why is it that I have no such interesting stories/entries? I watched a Hong Kong movie (for the nth time) released a couple of years back and it was about a writer and a VJ who was once nemesis in air and print but eventually end up together. I've watched this movie a numerous times and in the last time, there was this one scene where the writer cannot write and deliver an interesting story. Her boyfriend tell her, it is because she doesn't go out and don't socialize that is why she had a hard time sewing a great story.

Then I thought... I don't really go out and hell! It’s been years since the last time I met someone interesting. Then it came to mind, "is socializing a key to great stories"?

I really rarely socialize and I don't usually have stories to blog about.

Was that the point I am looking for?

Then I thought, maybe the problem is not whether I am a good writer or not and to me, it really doesn't matter, more so, if nobody is reading it, but maybe it has something to do with my stagnant social life.