My friend Joan's Wedding

I was the veil sponsor and I sang at the reception. I can't believe it. She is now Mrs. Fabrero.

Some pictures:

2nd Anniversary

How time flies. It's been two years since I started you. Happy birthday, blog!

Where Am I?

Currently in Kuwait City for 16 days business trip.

Starting October, I will be having a very busy schedule.

Sept 27-Oct 12 - Kuwait, business trip

Oct 13/14 - Watch Regine's Twenty concert. I hope I can find a date. Haha. And hopefully, me ticket pa akong mabili.

Oct 17 - Flight to Ilocos for my cousin's wedding

Oct 18 - My cousin's wedding and I - the bestman

Oct 19 - My birthday

Oct 20 - My sis' birthday

Oct 21 - Some friends' birthday

Oct 22 - Back to Manila

Nov 18 - Sponsor again for my friend Joan's wedding

December - January - I will be in Oslo, Norway for a holiday vacation.. woohooo!

Monday, Saturday and Sunday

Today is Monday. I cant' think of any better tittle for this entry because I have no general topic in mind.

Well, it's Monday - start of the week, start of work. I don't know why, I was earlier than the usual. It feels good to be early in the office once again. Or does it?

Since I came back from Taipei, I had this feeling to move out from the company. Maybe because I am not excited to the projects I had after TIB( Taiwan). I don't know but I feel like I don't belong here anymore.

I'm sporting a new haircut. I had it done last night. Shorter hair really suits me and my hair per se - at least, as far as I am concerned. Nevertheless, I'd like to try more styles once it will grow longer.

Two days ago, that's Saturday, I decided to give it a try - no it's not what you think of, but yes, I attened the CLP (Christian Life Program). It started 8PM and lasts more than hours of singing, talking and meeting new people. It was nice. This actually a stepping ground for SFC or Singles for Christ. I hope I eill be able to complete the program and hopefully transferred to SFC after CLP. Main reason - one is to go back to basic of knowing God but second and most importantly, to meet new peeople, create new acquaintances from our area since I am new in our area.

Sunday, finally, the homeowner's meeting already pushed through. We've already elected new sets of officers and I hope they will stick to their commitments and new progress will be done in our area. But most importantly, we already installed a new guard. And little by little we will see the improvement. It's too early to say but as this early, we can already see some progress.

GBK hasn't called me yet. I don't know if they still want me, or back off from the offer.

Still waiting for the result of our visa application.

I hope better days ahead of me this week.

Aloha! Family pics - neice, nephews and -grandson from Hawaii

What else can I do in Kuwait?

Kuwait, Norway and more!

I am back to the Philippines more than a month ago from my trip in Kuwait. It was tiring,exhausting trip but all in all, it was okay.

I might have left a good impression to the client since he is actually pirating me to work with them and leave my current company - an idea that never crossed my mind but been considering since it was offered to me.

Part of me like to grab the oppurtunity - its all in the process now, by the way, but nothing has been really finalized.

But then, the other part of me, wanted to stay. The reason? I just had my (our) house bought not more than a year ago. I am still in the process of developing its potential. Though the area is not perfect - a little flaw there and everywhere but for a community, isn't always that there are dilemmas? And of course, it's the people who made these problems.

The other thing is that, they already made an offer but I refused to accept because I believe that it's low based from the standard.

I am the one being pursued here, I was not the one who initiated the offer - I guess I feel important so I had the nerve to ask more. But I believe I deserve more and to me, if you think you are deserving, it is not bad to ask for it.

But am I too money-oriented? What if they've realize I'm not worth it and back out from the offer? I guess part of me will feel a bit of regret from the result but the, a bigger part of me would say "at least I tried and I stand from what I think is deserving".

I've submitted our visa application to Norway these week. It was mentioned that the visa will take 4-6 weeks to process. It was such a hassle because I need to go to the embassy for a week (except today, Friday as visa application submission is close). I asked my parents to come all the way from Ilocos because it was mentioned from their website that applicants should be in person.

Monday, we are early, I suppose only to find out that the embassy was closed due to holiday - which was celebrated the other day (sunday) but the embassy decided to move the date later for them to have a long weekend. My parents are always in a hurry and they can't afford to be away from our home in Ilocos for such a long time plus my brother had to take a leave from his work because no one will look after the house - it was a huge dilemma for us.

Tuesday, we were there again, only to find out that there are already many people queing up. Since it was my first to go to an embassy for visa application ( my company always do it for me for business trips abroad), I never anticipated such scenario. Novertheless, it was more easy compared to US embassy (from what I heard). I had to take a half-day leave because of it. When my time came, I was adviced that I need to photocopy everything my sister's paper, being she, as the guarantor. What the heck - it was not mentioned from their site. I rushed down from the building to look for a photocopy machine. Luckily, I found one nearby, went back to the embassy and re-submit the application. This woman, a pregnant woman by the way, accepted our papers. I can't help but from the moment I was there, I feel that she hates me. It seems to me, she likes to make it hard for me. Anyway, I said to myself patience. After submission, we have to wait again for them to check all the requirements. I was called again only to find out that she rejected the submission of the application because the photocopy of my parents passports are not "CLEAR ENOUGH" for reading. I mean, what the fuck?! It was eligible to me, what is she getting at. I mentioned it to her that my parents came all the way from Ilocos, etc etc. But she's determined as hell. Well, ha! I'm determined to continue with the application.

Wednesday, I came back earlier (but not early enough). Anyway, I was one of the first people who had my applications checked after submission. It was another woman who received our application. I was confident that this time, it will got accepted. Thank God, it was. Nevertheless, I still need to go back by tomorrow because since I mentioned that I will partly shoulder the expenses, I need to submit bank documents. I said okay, at least application has been submitted already.

Thursday, I was really early this time, I was number 3 from the queue. I was expecting the same woman but hell no! It was the pregnant devil woman. So I gave her the OR (which states that I just need to submit some supporting documents, etc etc..), and the supporting document. She looks at them. First, she said, she can't accept the credit card statements, I said fine ( but it was stipulated from the application that I will be using credit cards). Second thing she did, gave back the print out bank statements since I also provided them the summary. Third, she wants me to go out again to photocopy my time deposit bank statement - I mean hell no! I counter-react and said to her, I don't need it anymore. What is she trying to do really? What else but to make it hard for me. What the fuck?

So there, in 4 or 6 weeks time, I will learn the result. For my parents, I believe it will be easier for them to get one, I don't know in my part - I guess at least for me, I'm eligible enough to travel.

W.O.R.R.I.E.D

I admit, I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid being in a place where I don't know no one. I'm afraid of being left by friends who venture to other oppurtunities. I'm afraid of going to places where I don't know what will going to happen.

People might think I have this strong personality, but deep down I still cry like a baby. It's a shameful thing to say but that's the truth.

I am afraid of change. I always was. Although human nature, one can easily adapt to anything.

Why do I have these thoughts?

I'm off to Kuwait alone for a work-related trip. I'm scared - worried i guess is the perfect word to describe my feelings right now. I'm worried that I may not live up the expectations my company is entrusting me. I'm worried specially because of the thought that our client might not be satisfied with my work while I'm there.

Surely, I matured a lot. Gained a lot of knowledge, but I always believe that there are still a huge room for improvement. Am I ready for this? I'm not sure. This is a huge responsibility that's why I'm worried sick. I'll be facing our clients with a huge name of my company written on my face.

The other reason maybe is the hearsay that our client is very hard to please. It is my first time working with an Arab descent. Ever since I travel abroad, I always deal with people with chinese descent and I always get along with them.

Change. I've written about change ages ago. But I think, that fear still with me. My friend who've been my officemate since the day I started to work and whom I followed when she transfered to another company is about to leave our company. Talking with her it seem the oppurtunity and benefits is hard to top. It's a good deal. As a friend and a god-father to her daughter, I always hope the best for her. If it's time to leave then I guess, there is nothing left to do than to support her decision. It would be hard parting to people who are dear to you and who've been there in your ups and down. It's for her family, better salary and that means better life ahead of them.

I'm still worried. I guess that is one of my personality. I always worry a lot. About all the things, the future and all.

I know I feel stupid worring things which did not happen yet. It's a stupid stupid thing to do. I guess I have to learn to overcome these things. It's for my own good.

Rainy Days is Here again

It started to rain yesterday. Thank God. I can't endure this very hot weather specially now that I have no airconditioner installed in my house.

I heard from the news that the rainy season will start a little earlier than it used to. I know that it is not something to be happy about because it only means one thing - floods, calamities, etc, which comes during rainy season.

This morning when I woke up, it was a change waking up in a delight of cool morning breeze. Actually. I hate rainy season when I moved here in the metro. Maybe because I know that when it rains, it floods and it just irritates me that this problem hasn't been solved after 10 years of stay here.

As a child growing up in Ilocos, I loved rainy season. It's the time to eat the dried local plum (duhat) hatched last summer season. It is the start of schooling which you may find odd when I say I love it because once again, I will be able to mingle and see my classmates and friends.

When me and my siblings were still growing up, I fondly recall us sitting together in our old sofa while singing songs. A nice feeling when your voice is echoing at night specially when there is no electricity and all you hear is the tick of the rain water while it descend to the pales because of the holes in our roof. It was funny, because I think, even though our life is that simple compared to what we have now, we were more close to each other. We were always complete - a rare oppurtunity, now that we are all grown ups.

I remember as a child, there are a lot of activities you can do in the province. You can go the mountains and hatch local delicacies.You can go to the farm and take some vegetables which only grows during rainy season. You can catch edible frogs and deeply fries it - makes it a perfect dish or catch some edible insects, cook it and serves as an additional food in the table.

When the rain stops for a while, you can go out and play in a small pool of rain water while your friends and cousins are running around like there is no tomorrow.

Once you go home, you see your parents and other elders in a group talking things and laughing to certain matters while you sit beside your mother and she wraps around her arms around you - such a nice thing to show a mother's love to her child.

Ah. I miss those days.

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.



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When I was still growing up I've always see decorative frames with this poem in it. My sister has it all over the house and when we finally remodeled our house she still have it hanged in her room door. I've always read it but I can't understand what it says. Then the last time I went home recently,I read it again and finally was able to absorbed it. It's just beautiful. I consider it now as my favorite poem. It speaks the truth and from it, I learn so much.