Mixed Emotions

Romance or not, now I can undestand the words "it's hard to say goodbye".

Two weeks before my departure tommorrow, back to the Philippines, I was excited to go home. Now, the taught of leaving is starting to sink in. I am lonely. I am scared. Im hypocrite if I won't admit that I am still hoping that I could stay here a little much longer.

I don't know why. Maybe I am lonely that I will not be able to see those people I usually see in the office for two years. Funny thing is I don't know their names but sure am I that I will remember them. Maybe I have this feeling of regret of not be able to befriend most of them. Maybe because I don't know what's instore for me when I go back to the Philippines. I've already deviced some plans while waiting for my departure tomorrow but it starting to fall and don't know where I start.

Oh, I hate this. Why do I have to suffer like this. i am aware that sooner or later I will leave this country, but hell I am not prepared for it.

I guess I'll take in a positive way, as one said to me last night. I guess I could. But I let myself to be sad until whatever that 'positive way" will come.