Why is it that people tend to be so emotional during Christmas season?
I don't understand why most of the people I know are so dramatic this past few days. Its as if we are not ourselves. Of course, this doesn't include those people who one or another currently experiencing hardships may it be personal or professional matter, but this is to those, without any reason at all, feel something - an emotion that we cannot understand.
Surely, as an adult, I believe Christmas imparts a different meaning to us. But does that mean that we have to embrace whatever substance Christmas injects us?
Hay... lilipas din yan.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
A love torn between life and death
I had a brief chat with a friend this morning. She updated me of what happend last night when all of our friends paid their last visit to our dear boss jicky. I will not put everything into details, but I wanted to share these words from the person whose life is about to end to his loving wife.
friend (¤W¤È 11:24:07): parang sabi e wag nila aksayahin yung natitirang sandali ng buhay nya.
friend (¤W¤È 11:24:20): ayun pati kami naiiyak na rin
friend (¤W¤È 11:24:44): ask pa nga daw ni ms gina sa kanya kung anong gusto nya gift sa xmas
friend (¤W¤È 11:25:05): sabi ni boss jicky e basta wag lang daw syang magsasawang alagaan sya
Remembering back:
Boss Jicky was in his 40s whose younger life was mostly spent as a single. More than 4 years, he met Gina, a DBP IT personnel. By that time, I was not still working in the company where he was still attending for almost a decade now (if he still here). We don't know if he's feeling something special towards Gina at those time. Being secretive as he is (mostly silent - Libran characteristic), we have no any idea whats on his mind.
I started working in that same company in August of 1999. Its the year I met this man - so kind, silent, intelligent, courageous but when he cracks jokes, everyone can't help but laugh by his funny but witty jokes. You see, he is not really a "boss" because he has no managerial position in that company. But since I was still very young then ( 20), we fondly call him boss jicky or boss jick - out of respect to such respectable man.
He is not perfect. Nobody is. Even before we met him, he's addicted to cigarette and well, like to take hard drinks to complement the joy this two combination brings - a bad combination which eventually took his life.
As our project in DBP keeps moving , our friend Arnel, keep on teasing Boss Jicky and Gina. This was around early 2000 or late 1999. Since Gina is not in a younger age anymore, our friend, well most of us, think they are perfect for each other. The conflict here was that, Gina was engaged to be married to a different man. Boss Jicky maybe saw this situation that is why he did not pursue and give in to the teasings. But God made a difference - Gina ended her relationship ( for more than a couple of years) to the other man and eventually fall under the spell of L-O-V-E boss Jick offered when he saw that the road to his happiness is now an open highway. I was in HongKong for another project when this happened. They did not wait so much and decided to get married after a couple of months of being a boyfriend-girlfriend.
They were blessed with a very cute boy after that - the 5th of their family.
A test from God came along not until recently. We, his friends and himself are living our own significant lives not until I went home to the Philippines last November. I learned the news from a friend that boss Jick is sick - he has TB. That was what we all know. All along, his family knew it was cancer and that he has only 12 weeks to live. At first, they did not inform him what was going on. A secret which Gina could not hold on to it anymore and break out this terrifying news. How hard was it to tell to the one you love the most that he/she is about to leave you for good?
So, the conversation above took place.
They had such a short life together - barely 3 years. That is why maybe boss jicky tell Gina not to cry anymore and just try to live as happy as they can be until God finally take his life. It is also so inspiring to know that these two people love each other so deeply. A love which will live forever. A sacrificing love. An unselfish love.
Surely, boss jicky is now happier wherever he is. Well maybe, maybe it is for the best - for him up there so that he can see his wife specially his own son grow. And that through it, he will be able to guide him as he face this troubled world - until they meet again.
friend (¤W¤È 11:24:07): parang sabi e wag nila aksayahin yung natitirang sandali ng buhay nya.
friend (¤W¤È 11:24:20): ayun pati kami naiiyak na rin
friend (¤W¤È 11:24:44): ask pa nga daw ni ms gina sa kanya kung anong gusto nya gift sa xmas
friend (¤W¤È 11:25:05): sabi ni boss jicky e basta wag lang daw syang magsasawang alagaan sya
Remembering back:
Boss Jicky was in his 40s whose younger life was mostly spent as a single. More than 4 years, he met Gina, a DBP IT personnel. By that time, I was not still working in the company where he was still attending for almost a decade now (if he still here). We don't know if he's feeling something special towards Gina at those time. Being secretive as he is (mostly silent - Libran characteristic), we have no any idea whats on his mind.
I started working in that same company in August of 1999. Its the year I met this man - so kind, silent, intelligent, courageous but when he cracks jokes, everyone can't help but laugh by his funny but witty jokes. You see, he is not really a "boss" because he has no managerial position in that company. But since I was still very young then ( 20), we fondly call him boss jicky or boss jick - out of respect to such respectable man.
He is not perfect. Nobody is. Even before we met him, he's addicted to cigarette and well, like to take hard drinks to complement the joy this two combination brings - a bad combination which eventually took his life.
As our project in DBP keeps moving , our friend Arnel, keep on teasing Boss Jicky and Gina. This was around early 2000 or late 1999. Since Gina is not in a younger age anymore, our friend, well most of us, think they are perfect for each other. The conflict here was that, Gina was engaged to be married to a different man. Boss Jicky maybe saw this situation that is why he did not pursue and give in to the teasings. But God made a difference - Gina ended her relationship ( for more than a couple of years) to the other man and eventually fall under the spell of L-O-V-E boss Jick offered when he saw that the road to his happiness is now an open highway. I was in HongKong for another project when this happened. They did not wait so much and decided to get married after a couple of months of being a boyfriend-girlfriend.
They were blessed with a very cute boy after that - the 5th of their family.
A test from God came along not until recently. We, his friends and himself are living our own significant lives not until I went home to the Philippines last November. I learned the news from a friend that boss Jick is sick - he has TB. That was what we all know. All along, his family knew it was cancer and that he has only 12 weeks to live. At first, they did not inform him what was going on. A secret which Gina could not hold on to it anymore and break out this terrifying news. How hard was it to tell to the one you love the most that he/she is about to leave you for good?
So, the conversation above took place.
They had such a short life together - barely 3 years. That is why maybe boss jicky tell Gina not to cry anymore and just try to live as happy as they can be until God finally take his life. It is also so inspiring to know that these two people love each other so deeply. A love which will live forever. A sacrificing love. An unselfish love.
Surely, boss jicky is now happier wherever he is. Well maybe, maybe it is for the best - for him up there so that he can see his wife specially his own son grow. And that through it, he will be able to guide him as he face this troubled world - until they meet again.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Perfect World
Things's changing, evolving - a fact we have no control of.
Im a guy of 25 years - I have a quite normal life. I have a loving parents and siblings, I have a job that well, pays somewhat enough (for the time being) to materialize my materialistic urges, I have caring and kind friends, traveled different cities in Asia - I mean, I am living the way I wanted, I have a full control of what I do and to what I think.
Then when you think that you have the perfect life, you realize its not. For few years, I never thought that many things won't happen to my life. I was contented living on my own perfect world. But things have change. My "perfect" life is vanishing bit by bit. The life I immortalized in my mind has changed into reality - that life's full of love and hate, war and peace, that you will not get all the things you've dreamed of, that things doesn't always fall into place the way we perceived it, and that people come and go - a realization that you are still in fact in this earth.
Just this year alone, I lost two people whom I cared about - my aunt and a friend of mine, two of my friends got married, another friend will tie the knot comes January. A friend of mine finally have a baby and was christened a few weeks back, other friends are now living a life and I got a new neice through my cousin. Then it hit me. How about me?
Since I've created a world of my own, I think I'm stuck in my own. I can't move on. I am trying but I am having a hard time adjusting to it - because I never thought things like these would never come in my life.
Since I've created a world of my own, I think I'm stuck in my own. I can't move on. I am trying but I am having a hard time adjusting to it - because I never thought things like these would never come in my life.
I have this feeling maybe because I felt I was left out. It seems people I know are living life the way life should be. And because of that, I know they are happy. And I am not? Maybe yes maybe not because I feel that there is something missing.. I am confuse with all the things that struck my life in my own perfect world - my unreal world which I think will collapse eventually.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Farewell, my friend
My former officemate, whom of course a friend of mine just passed away today. As I am currently abroad, my other friend just sent me a text message informing me of what happened.
Sadness - that's what I'm feeling now. Not only for myself because of losing such kind person as he is, but because of what he left - his family, his wife and his very young son . As his wife is also a friend of mine, I really feel so sorry that God took him that fast.
Since the day I knew that he was sick, he was always part of my prayers. I am not blaming God. He answered my prayer. Yes, He did. Not the way I wanted though but I know that his answer to my prayers was something that has a reason. I know that people who love him are badly hurt by what happened- I know that. But God always has reasons why things happened. We may not know it now but we will - unknowingly as days passs by.
He was a mentor and a friend. I will surely miss him.
Farewell, boss Jicky.
Sadness - that's what I'm feeling now. Not only for myself because of losing such kind person as he is, but because of what he left - his family, his wife and his very young son . As his wife is also a friend of mine, I really feel so sorry that God took him that fast.
Since the day I knew that he was sick, he was always part of my prayers. I am not blaming God. He answered my prayer. Yes, He did. Not the way I wanted though but I know that his answer to my prayers was something that has a reason. I know that people who love him are badly hurt by what happened- I know that. But God always has reasons why things happened. We may not know it now but we will - unknowingly as days passs by.
He was a mentor and a friend. I will surely miss him.
Farewell, boss Jicky.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Facade
Is christinity just a mere facade?
When attending mass, are we really into it? Or we are just trying to show off our new clothes, our fashion statements? When I'm abroad, when I attend a mass where most Filipinos attend to, I notice that guys treat the church where they can find someone for a romantic fling. Well no offense meant but women do these things as well.
Given the fact that we are a christian nation who believe in God, how come our country is not moving forward? Did we even prayed to God even just once, to help our country towards prosperity? Or we are busy talking to Him asking for any possible things we can imagine for our ownself? Come to think of it, if we as nation pray to Him and ask him simple things for our country, would you think He will not answer our plea? I believe that God answers our prayers not the way we want them to be asnwered but, answers in his own will and in his own way, but it matters if we give our share, right?
Do you notice what people do before the "peace be with you" segment of the mass? Try to notice it but they would busy themselves trying to remove any impurities (if there any) on their faces, fixing one's hair, or putting their clothes into its proper places before facing other people attending the mass. Such vanity, worse, done inside the church, Way to go!
Ask a person what was the homily all about and others give you a blank face. Why is that? Because we too are busy explaining what happened to other people's live to our own sets of audience.
I am not saying I am not guilty. I am aware that sometimes I don't behave properly when Im attending a mass - try thinking about sex while the mass is on-going. But the mere fact that I know that these things are happening, and that I am aware of it, its a good start. A start to change for the better.
Advance Happy Birthday, Jesus.
When attending mass, are we really into it? Or we are just trying to show off our new clothes, our fashion statements? When I'm abroad, when I attend a mass where most Filipinos attend to, I notice that guys treat the church where they can find someone for a romantic fling. Well no offense meant but women do these things as well.
Given the fact that we are a christian nation who believe in God, how come our country is not moving forward? Did we even prayed to God even just once, to help our country towards prosperity? Or we are busy talking to Him asking for any possible things we can imagine for our ownself? Come to think of it, if we as nation pray to Him and ask him simple things for our country, would you think He will not answer our plea? I believe that God answers our prayers not the way we want them to be asnwered but, answers in his own will and in his own way, but it matters if we give our share, right?
Do you notice what people do before the "peace be with you" segment of the mass? Try to notice it but they would busy themselves trying to remove any impurities (if there any) on their faces, fixing one's hair, or putting their clothes into its proper places before facing other people attending the mass. Such vanity, worse, done inside the church, Way to go!
Ask a person what was the homily all about and others give you a blank face. Why is that? Because we too are busy explaining what happened to other people's live to our own sets of audience.
I am not saying I am not guilty. I am aware that sometimes I don't behave properly when Im attending a mass - try thinking about sex while the mass is on-going. But the mere fact that I know that these things are happening, and that I am aware of it, its a good start. A start to change for the better.
Advance Happy Birthday, Jesus.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Reality bites
Sabi ko, siya na kaya?
Sabi ng puso ko sya na.
Pero nalaman ko me iba na pala siya
Masakit, pero kailangang magparaya
Corny. Pero sad.
Sabi ng puso ko sya na.
Pero nalaman ko me iba na pala siya
Masakit, pero kailangang magparaya
Corny. Pero sad.
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Who.Am.I
- Jessie
- It's just me - Jessie or Banz or Bansiong to family and friends. Into IT but definitely a music lover.